Chaplain John Catrett Shares:
THE GREAT DIVIDE
Accepting and letting go of someone you love is the most difficult challenge that lies in the death of a loved one. How is it possible that one who is so alive, with so much to share, could so suddenly leave, forever? Where did you go, we wonder; are you afraid, are you lonely or hurting? We feel so helpless, believing there is no way to reach out and hold their hand or comfort them on this solo journey. Do they wish they were still here; do they miss us as much as we miss them; do they know our heart is broken or how much we loved them?
This is the great divide in life, one that feels unbearable to many. We can’t see what’s beyond life, as we know it, we can only wonder and search for something to hold onto. Once you experience this kind of loss, you know there is something more, something beyond the big blue sky we stare at as we wonder where and why. You simply know this was not all for nothing; somewhere out there the one you love lives on, in a miraculously way somehow.
This reminds me of the story in Mark 9 where the disciples couldn’t heal the young boy, and the dad came to Jesus. Jesus basically said this takes more belief. The dad was very honest. (New King James), 24. Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” That describes what many feel, even about grief. We know that our loved one is okay, and yet we still struggle and have terrible pain. I think the key is to admit that to God…I believe, but I really need your strength…help my unbelief.
That sense of knowing is one of the many ways we maintain contact with our precious loved one after they’re gone. Visits during dreamtime may be the most recognized way we reach out and touch; mainly because our resistance is down while we are asleep. We may even feel their touch or hear them whisper something that we know came from them. Songs that suddenly come to mind particularly when a single line or verse replays is yet another way we touch. The message they want to convey is in those words. They’re not really gone, they just left the vessel they were using to journey through life.
Were they afraid when they left us? Death to the physical body is a change of consciousness, the kind we experience when we wake up from a dream. They are waking up to a new and vastly expanded consciousness. There is no fear, no pain. This transformation allows the one who has died to see with crystal clear vision, to know all of the facts about events in their lifetime. Perception is replaced with clarity. There is a letting go process that may take longer for those who died abruptly; they may stay close until loose ends are tied up. You may feel them; feel their presence close to you, somewhat like companion energy. There is helpful guidance being offered that aids us to make the way and begin living again.
When the process is complete, we all choose to finalize the transformation of being totally rejoined with the creative consciousness we know as God. Even though we were never actually separated, our birth into a physical body necessitated a different consciousness or awareness.